I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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