The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
