Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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