no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
