my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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