This tent reeks of fear and sangria
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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