Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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