drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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