So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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