If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
