If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Two words: blizzard sex
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize