ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
