i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize