As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
