You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I love how my cats smell like pot.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
