I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
