I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
