so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
