i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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