Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
