How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
