Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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