Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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