that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
