Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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