you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
