Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
