first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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