we have officially lost it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
