I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
