so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
