You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
