The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
