I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
