I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
