He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
