I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize