We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
