I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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