Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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