dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
