that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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