is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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