And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
