wakey wakey hands off snakey
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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