Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize