The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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