Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
