he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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