It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
