party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
