I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
did i just pee glitter
These tits shall not be calmed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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