She announced her abortion via fbk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
