the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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