so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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