No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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