Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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