Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
