Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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