My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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